In this multi-layered passage we’ve been considering (Luke 10:38-42), Mary is our example in both her listening and, specifically, in her listening to Jesus. And this brings us to our final and most important point for 2021:
Jesus tells us that Mary shows us a better way to live. (42)
A close friend casually looking at this story has often joked, “Everybody loves to diss Martha but just wait until they all get hungry and want to eat again.” Although it’s a funny perspective, it misses the central point of the story entirely! If Jesus IS the LORD of all creation and says that there’s something crucial about Mary’s heart and choice, we need to pay closer attention to it! Don’t let the simplicity of the story disguise its profundity.
What’s going on here and what exactly was Martha’s problem? Further, in contrast, what was Mary doing right? Let’s try to answer this from a thirty-thousand-foot view and then come down closer for its implications for our lives this year.
In the history of the Church, “Martha, who was busy serving her Guest, came to be emblematic of the active life while Mary, who sat at the feet of her Lord with rapt attention, represented the contemplative life.”[1]
Also, there’s something wonderfully culturally subversive about this passage. Jesus is the Rabbi part excellence and Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet—the traditional posture of a male student—learning from him.
You see, in the first century, “Women were less likely to be literate than men, were trained in philosophy far less often than men, were trained in rhetoric almost never, and in Judaism were far less likely to be educated in the law…the vast majority of rabbis would never accept a woman as a disciple.”[2]
In contrast to these biblical times, women are now viewed as full persons who can vote and pursue many opportunities not afforded to them even a hundred years ago. (Remember, blacks were not viewed as full persons who could vote until 1870; for women, it was 1920!)
BTW, the apostle Paul’s command in 1 Timothy 2:11 to “Let a woman learn in silence…” can be used as a proof text to silence women or, more properly (similarly to the passage we are looking at here with Mary learning at Jesus’ feet), as an encouragement that they should learn and grow: “Let a woman learn….” [For more insights on this passage, see the footnotes in this piece.]
Both Jesus and Paul were progressive for their times in that women are encouraged to learn.
But let’s bring our lens back down closer to earth, get more practical, and return to our earlier questions: What is going on here, and what exactly was Martha’s problem? Further, in contrast, what did Mary do right?
Martha’s problem: It wasn’t her hospitality (38). That was one of her virtues. The NT is full of verses that encourage hospitality. BTW, “the Billy Graham Center Institute, in partnership with Lifeway Research, and the Caskey Center for Church Excellence surveyed fifteen hundred small churches (under 250 people) and discovered the top predictive factors for sustained church growth through reaching new people. The top predictive factor was hospitality to the unchurched.”[3] One pastor observed, “‘What I seem to notice is that when you can meet a need, people know and the community knows that you care about them.’ This often is what builds bridges to faith among unchurched people in the broader community.”[4]
Again, Martha’s problem was not her love and hospitality, it was being distracted by “much serving” (40). It was “all the preparations” (NIV) or “the big dinner she was serving.” (NLT)
And being distracted by “much serving” leads to worried and hurried living (41).
What Mary did right: She stopped doing some things to make more space for listening relationships and, especially, so she had time to listen better and learn from Jesus.
In wrapping up our thoughts on this passage and as those who care about people, there are no easy answers here. A major step forward for all of us may be just to become more aware of the cultural waters we swim in. A pastor friend of mine, Dave Ramsey, who just turned 88, shared this great limerick with me:
“Martha stormed into the room in an angry huff;
‘Master,’ she cried, ‘Tell Mary to get off her duff!’
Jesus settled this little family feud,
By backing Mary’s choice for heavenly food.
Discerning life’s priorities can be tough!”
About a month ago, a friend of ours from Washington state shared a humorous series of observations by a Muslim student about celebrating Christmas in America. He said:
“Growing up, my Muslim family never celebrated Christmas. This year I am not going home because of the pandemic, so my roommates are teaching me how to have my first proper Christmas. I am approaching this with anthropological precision.
Here are a few observations.
Observation 1: Christmas is a part time job that you have from mid-November to the end of December. From the outside looking in, Christmas always seemed pretty simple. I always thought you put up a tree and then gave gifts to family. This is a lie.
Do you want to sleep in on a Saturday?
Too bad. Go put up some lights in your house.
Next weekend?
Nope. Every free moment you have will be spent agonizing over the gifts you must buy.
I’ll skip now to his “Observation 4:” He said, “Your gift budget does not matter. You can set this budget as high as you want but the perfect gift will always be $10 too expensive. There is just no winning. Just give up.”
And here is “Observation 8: You need a menu:”
“Yeah…,” he says, “This one is where they lost me. Last Christmas my family ordered Popeyes and watched a movie. My roommate has an entire menu with wine pairings and desserts planned.”
Finally, he finally said, “I want to applaud longtime Christmas celebrators as this is a lot of work and very tiring. I will say I am having a very pleasant time. I am learning that I enjoy Christmas music and gift purchasing. I am also learning that I do not enjoy peppermint.”
We love the rich colors and opulence of The Great British Baking Show, Cupcake Wars, or the Hallmark Channels. Don’t get me wrong: all of these can be good, healthy distractions, and ways to relax. However, as Dr. David Black, former president of Eastern University, reminded his students, “the basis of much unhappiness is comparison.” You see, comparison can kill contentment and, like Martha, we can become easily distracted by “many things.”
What this means is that, in Jesus’ mind—when he’s holding the limbo stick, a Pinterest fail may not only be hilarious, but just what the doctor ordered—especially if in our “lack” or “fail,” we learn to make more space for conversation, listening relationships, and Jesus in the process.
***Friends, here is one of my biggest learnings from this passage: A simple meal (one dish) is sufficient for hospitality.[5] Sometimes we can do too much.
Listening to Jesus often means simplifying the hospitality plan, doing less to—AGAIN—make as much space as possible for conversation, listening relationships, and Jesus.
If the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, strength, and mind, and if, as Paul Tillich said, “Love’s first act is to listen,” then the #1 way we can love better in 2021 may be this: Rather than make a bunch of new resolutions, stop doing certain seemingly “essential” tasks so that we have more time to listen.
You may be already beating yourself up because of a few goals you’ve fallen short or behind on. Maybe a better approach and question is this: “What things will you stop doing this year to make more space for listening relationships and, especially, listening and learning better from Jesus?
[1] Augustine’s Confessions, Second Edition translated by F.J Sheed (Indianapolis/Cambridge: Hackett Publishing Co., 2006), 261.
[2] See Craig Keener’s insights in the IVP Bible Background Commentary, 611.
[3] Rick Richardson, You Found Me (Downers Grove, IL: IVP, 2019), 16.
[4] Ibid., 14.
[5] The New Oxford Annotated Bible (New York: Oxford, 1991), 98.