I tend to love strong, capable female characters in books and movies, especially spy thrillers. As a pastor, however, I fully acknowledge that—in real life—degrading and oppressive attitudes and actions toward women have been rampant throughout history. And that, sadly, many of these attitudes and actions have been vehemently defended by various religions, including Christianity. But, honestly, even our irreligious “brave new world” still promotes plenty of harmful views toward women. The Proverbs 31 woman is a corrective for all as it champions a surprisingly high and healthy view of women. Here are just a few of the vivid portraits this ancient poem paints:
- She’s intelligent and makes decisions independently (16). “She considers a field” indicating wise judgment and “buys it,” indicating control of a substantial amount of money. While my daughter Emily was in high school and to give her a great example of an influential, intelligent woman, I asked her to do a research paper on Dorothy Sayers. Dorothy was an only child born to Reverend Henry and Helen Mary Sayers on June 13, 1893.[1] She excelled in languages, learning French and Latin at a young age. Later Sayers received a scholarship to Somerville College in Oxford. In 1915, she graduated with highest honors in modern language and was one of the first women to receive a degree from Oxford.[2] A contemporary of C.S. Lewis, she was one of the greatest female Christian minds of the 20th century. Remembered today for her mystery novels and plays, she was also a lay theologian who had a passion to excavate church doctrine layered beneath “stuffy clergy jargon,” and prove Christianity to be an exciting adventure.[3] Her example reminded my daughter, as it reminds us, that God celebrates women who “work with head as well as hands.”
- She works hard and is an excellent manager (15,18b). At first glance, it might seem like this woman never sleeps! But this isn’t the picture that’s intended. Rather, she’s an “unbelievably energetic and competent woman… the epitome of the hard worker.”[4] She is diligent to complete her work both in the morning and in the evening, and her rejection of idleness embodies one of the chief virtues of Proverbs. In other words, she does not lie in bed and wait for servants to attend to her. Additionally, her planning enables everyone in the household to be productive throughout the day.
- She’s not confined to the home but is engaged in business. Again, the Proverbs 31 woman shows a remarkable amount of financial independence and is “engaged in real estate and agricultural ventures.”[5] Pam and my young-married experience in the church was plagued with Bill Gothard-esque “traditional” views of a woman. The narrative went something like this: “A woman shouldn’t work outside the home as it’s not her job to financially provide for her family. Men are the financial providers and women the nurturers. Although a woman may be more than a baby factory, she should stay with the kids. That’s what God wants.” But this ancient Near eastern passage blows this false, disempowering, and guilt-inducing paradigm out of the water (see especially 16,20,24).
- Her heart is for her family first, but not in an ingrown, self-focused way (27, 20). She looks well to the ways of her household (27). Longman notes that “the implication is that her husband can achieve such a significant status only with the support of his wife. She takes care of the household while he works in the community. Her reputation also enhances his.”[6] Her care, however, extends beyond her home and family: “She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.” Working not just with head and hands, she has a compassionate heart. She is “concerned about the plight of the poor and afflicted,” Longman observes, and “works for the betterment not only of her own household but also for those outside of it.”[7]
- Her focus is on character and inner beauty first (30). Fast forward to just a little over ten years ago: An analysis of the 100 top-grossing films of 2008 revealed that female teenage characters were 40% more likely to wear revealing clothing than other women—even more than those ages 21 to 39 (32%). And female characters in general were significantly more apt to wear sexy costumes than men. Lead researcher, USC communications professor Stacy Smith, says, “The data speaks to an overemphasis on beauty, thinness and sexualization of women at younger and younger ages.”[8] And, even on this side of the #metoo movement as I watched the Grammy’s a few weeks ago, I had a hard time understanding how Megan Thee Stallion or Cardi B’s performance honored either black lives or women. We may have come a long way in addressing pay disparities and calling out abuse, but we have certainly devolved when it comes to the celebration of internal beauty and substance.
In conclusion, and on this last point especially, let’s make sure we’re raising our sons and daughters to see through our culture’s idolization of sex, external beauty, and glamour. Let’s make sure we point out how so many in our day spend thousands on an unforgettable wedding but invest little in building a strong marriage. Or, how we’re overly enamored by unreal reality shows. Finally, let’s make sure that we make it clear that the Proverbs 31 woman was known first for her reverence for God, not keeping up with the Kardashians.
[1] Galli and Olsen, 130.
[2] Siepmann and Baker, 870.
[3] Armstrong, Waking 2.
[4] Tremper Longman III, Proverbs: Baker Commentary on the Old Testament (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker, 2006), 540.
[5] Ibid., 544.
[6] Ibid., 546.
[7] Ibid., 541.
[8] usatoday.com, 4.22.11.