I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. -2 Tim. 1:5, NLT (words in bold, mine)

Regarding passing on a healthy spiritual legacy, the main point we’ve been trying to make and illustrate from the “family is a conduit to faith” side of Eberstadt’s double helix research is this: Geographic distance affects influence and involvement. Indeed, it’s harder to make investments in a way that “faith continues strong” when your “genuine faith” is rarely seen or lives far away.[1]

Please note I said harder, not impossible. Technology can help mitigate this challenge given there is already a strong relational, face-to-face foundation (more on that below). Further, there are often circumstances beyond our control that can become primary drivers on where we settle geographically such as:

• our callings and the availability of educational and employment opportunities
• the needs and desire of our spouse
• extended family that is geographically spread out
• health crises, special needs, etc.
• family of origins that are so toxic and unsafe that we have to cut ties and start over, or at least live at a protective distance

Regarding the first bullet above, my wife, Pam, and my mentality has been that we would never stand in the way of any of our kids taking an opportunity out-of-state. We would cheer them on and do our best to make it work. Or, if we had to move for similar reasons, we hope they would do the same.

Taking a position out-of-state or even out-of-the-country often goes with the call to gospel ministry. For example, if someone is called to pastor, often that means taking a church that isn’t close to biological family. In these instances, Jesus gives a special promise:

“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.” (Mark 10:29-30, ESV)

Although I don’t know all that’s intended here (see additional insights in the footnotes below), many have experienced the sweetness and depth of relationships that this “hundredfold now” speaks of. I’m always amazed at how quickly rich and real relationships form among those that may share little more in common than a relationship with God “in Christ” (2 Cor. 5:17). Still, most pastors and spouses freely admit that being separated geographically from kids and grandkids is extremely difficult at times. I asked one pastor recently whose call requires him to live away from his parents and adult children how he stays connected in a way that prioritizes passing on a legacy of faith. I conclude with his perspective and wisdom:

“I don’t know that we have any practices that are particularly unique to us as we keep connected to the kids. A lot of texting, some phone calls, and then skyping. So that aspect of technology is definitely a gift. We always conclude our skypes… with me praying… We’ve also sent them occasional books (e.g. Keller’s devotionals on Psalms and Proverbs and also The Rabbit Room’s ‘Every Moment Holy’ liturgy book), and forwarded blog posts etc. (although I don’t think they read the blog posts that often). We’ll also try to make a point of asking them what the sermon was about at their church, and generally about life at their churches. Neither of our kids would do well with us asking pointed questions like ‘how are you doing spiritually?’ so it’s more a case of picking up on things they might say which give a clue to how they’re doing, and then gently probing a bit.

I think… since we never lived close to grandparents/extended family while they were growing up, they’ve always considered church as their extended family… [In one country where we lived] we always had people from church over for lunch after the service (much more part of the culture there than here). They’ve taken that idea with them wherever they’ve gone, so the support network of a local church as ‘family’ seems to be very important to both of them. That’s been cool to see.”

Next week, we’ll finish this series by returning to the illustration of my mom’s parents, looking closer at my grandfather’s pastoral ministry, and considering one final but critical factor: The Discipleship Imperative.

***The picture above was taken July 28, 1992 when Pam, I, and our eight-month-old son, Matthew, left Bridgeton, NJ so I could attend Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY.

Additional insight on Mark 10:29-30 from a sermon by my pastor, Rev. Andrew Smith: “In the present, those who have left homes and families and possessions for Jesus and the gospel will receive a hundred times as much, as they are welcomed into new homes and new families and blessed with generosity… The good God who loves us never gives diminishing returns. At the same time, the good God who loves us is a realist – so Jesus mentions here that mixed in with the countless blessings will be persecution for those who follow him. Whether that is the horrific treatment of Christians at the hands of ISIS or the economic persecution of Christian bakers in this country, we need to recognize that these things haven’t taken Jesus by surprise. He told us they would happen. But through this passage we see that persecution doesn’t undo God’s goodness or his love.”

[1] Again, Mary Eberstadt’s How the West Really Lost God presents social science that establishes that “More children equal more God. [And] More marriage equals more God.” Conversely, “detachment from those people most closely related to oneself” equals less God. Although her case is sprawling at times and too tied to a strict Roman Catholic view that disallows any form of “unnatural” birth control, Eberstadt’s work presents many gems that give strong evidence that “the family is not merely a consequence of religious belief but a conduit to it.” [see especially 89-154].