I thank God whom I serve, as did my ancestors… as I remember you constantly in my prayers… I am reminded of your sincere faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well… Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you… May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorous, for he often refreshed me… (select verses from 2 Tim. 1:3-16, ESV; words in bold, mine)

This week as you gather and connect with loved ones, I don’t want you to miss the rich application of passage above to the home and passing on a heritage of faith.

Paul notes that both he (“my ancestors”) and Timothy (“your grandmother… your mother”) have a heritage of faith.” We also see this as well in v. 16 where it mentions “the household of Onesiphorous.”

We all know that the role of parents and grandparents is vital. Parents are:

• Providers—financial but also providers of emotional and physical presence, healthy meals, etc.
• Nurturers- this has to do with connecting with your kids heart-to-heart
• Guides- this has to do with passing on morals and values

In Paul’s word’s above, there’s a “good deposit” that we’re supposed to guard (14). What is it? Verse 13 explains that this deposit is “sound [or healthy] words.” Sound words are good teaching and good teaching is an investment in your life and those God has called you to serve. Indeed, teaching is something parents and grandparents are doing all the time, either formally or informally.

The research shows that the home is the primary conduit for passing on the Christian faith. Sociologist Christian Smith’s conclusions from analyzing the data on who is really leaving the faith and why said this, “Parents are huge, absolutely huge, nearly a necessary condition”[1] for a child to remain strong in their faith into young adulthood. He concluded, “Without question, the most important pastor a child will ever have in their life is a parent.”[2]

Mary Eberstadt’s How the West Really Lost God presents strong social science that establishes that “More children equal more God. [And] More marriage equals more God.” Conversely, “detachment from those people most closely related to oneself” equals less God.

She says faith and family are like a double helix. A double helix is the description of the structure of a DNA molecule. A DNA molecule consists of two strands that wind around each other like a twisted ladder.[3] In the same way, she says, “the family is not merely a consequence of religious belief but a conduit to it.” What she means is that, when it comes to passing on a godly legacy, faith and family work together in an inseparable and integrated way like a double helix or the two vertical supports on a twisted ladder.

Let’s take her bolded statement above apart:

Family is a consequence of faith or the lack thereof: Another way of saying this is that strong faith gives birth to strong families, or weak or no faith gives birth to fragile families. That’s why we talk about “the breakdown of the family” in a nation that no longer trusts in God and has lost its moral compass. Less God leads to less marriage or the redefinition of marriage. What’s more, the research shows that less marriage also leads to more poverty and more fragile homes.[4] And more fragile families result in fewer children growing up in healthy homes with a mom and a dad.

Family is also a conduit to faith (Gen. 18:19). In other words, families are the primary channels for passing on faith, or the lack thereof. In the home, faith or its absence is both caught and taught. Again, Eberstadt’s research shows that “detachment from those people most closely related to oneself” equals less God. In other words, even something simple like attending a special church service together as a family can strengthen faith.

Let’s illustrate Eberstadt’s double helix observations by thinking of a scenario where a son from a Christian home goes off to college, loses faith, becomes an atheist, and then decides to forgo marriage and live with his girlfriend. On the one hand, the family as consequence of faith lens might seek to connect the dots between a gifted, unbelieving professor who dismantled the student’s faith which then resulted in his viewing marriage as an antiquated and unnecessary concept. The family as a conduit to faith lens, on the other hand, might emphasize that the student’s faith was weakened because he was separated from his biological family (or “household” to use Paul’s words above) and this left him in a lonely, detached, and vulnerable state.

The takeaway from all of this is not that kids shouldn’t go away to school or to a “secular” school, but that faith and family are both primary drivers and equally consequential. We easily see and hear a lot about how loss of faith leads to a breakdown of the family. We hear little, however, of the power healthy family has to strengthen faith. Eberstadt’s research suggests that when it comes to passing on a robust faith, proximity to family— the kind that includes plenty of heart-to-heart connection and time-spent—matters.

This week, give thanks for those living or who have passed on who taught you to love God. Also, try to discuss Eberstadt’s research with a friend or family member. What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? What qualifications would you make? 

New week, I’ll give an illustration of how Eberstadt’s “family is a conduit to faith” played out in my family growing up.

Happy Thanksgiving!

[1] Hess, “Who Is Really Leaving the Faith and Why?”

[2] Ibid.

[3] https://geneed.nlm.nih.gov/topic_subtopic.php?tid=15&sid=16

[4] See Marriage and Caste in Society by Kay Hymowitz for an excellent analysis of the research on this.