Reflections on Prayer and the Victims of Trauma, 2 of 2

We saw last week that Psalm 137 acknowledges and gives legitimacy to the voice of trauma. We also learned that we can take even our darkest emotions to God and that he is big enough to handle our anger, hates, and desire for vengeance. But how does this mesh with the Christian concepts of justice and forgiveness? These are great questions and we’ll tackle them this week.

Among other things, Psalm 137 is a call to compassion and empathy—a call to be fully human in how we relate to ourselves and others. It’s a call to listen well and not be the Bible answer man. Regarding justice and forgiveness specifically, it’s a reminder to not jump quickly and glibly to these concepts like a moralist (see Eugen Peterson’s comments from last week) or one of Job’s friends. Even precious promises about forgiveness or difficult calls to forgiveness are not meant to be Magic Erasers that scrub away ugly emotions from honest conversation. As clinical psychologist Diane Langberg reminds us, healing from trauma involves lots of talking, tears, and time.

Yes, the Bible does give general guidance on justice and forgiveness but there are some important caveats for individuals and churches that want to be safe places of healing. That said, let’s restate a couple of basics related to justice and forgiveness, share a few insights on how the Church often fails victims of serious abuse, and close with some encouragement for those who are still angry and struggle to forgive.

As a general rule, what does it look like for a Christian to pursue justice, as well as respond to those who hurt or mistreat us?

  • Regarding pursuing justice, “Christians… define justice according to the Bible. The Christian standard is God’s revelation in his Word—both the living Word (Jesus Christ) and the written Word (the Bible). Justice, therefore, can be defined as behavior that measures up to or conforms with what God has revealed to us in Christ and in the Scripture. There’s no law in our legal system that demands love, but Christ does. There’s no law that requires empathy and compassion, but Christ does. There’s no law that demands grace, but Christ does. Because of what Christ demands of us, our sense of justice as Christians will be radically different than the world’s understanding of justice.”[1]
  • Regarding responding to hurts and mistreatment, as I’ve written recently here: Forgive. Some hurts are unintentional and come from people who really do love us. Moreover, even when their wounds were intentional, their behavior needs to be viewed against an overall backdrop mixed with love and care. Some harmful actions (slights, misrepresentations, injustice, abuse, etc.), however, come from those who turn out to be our enemies. In any of these scenarios, Jesus calls us to forgive and bless—even our enemies: “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you…” (Matt. 5:44, KJV) This is one of the reasons I like the practice of saying the Lord’s Prayer together weekly as a church family. It reminds us that, as N.T. Wright observes, “I need forgiveness for myself… and I intend to live with forgiveness in my heart in my own dealings with others. (Notice how remarkable it is, at the heart of the prayer, we commit ourselves to live in a particular way, a way we find difficult.)”[2]

Important qualifiers for the Church regarding the victims of serious abuse and legalistically following the “Matthew 18” process:

  • “This call to transform rage into love and forgiveness can be misheard. It can be heard as a means of justifying continued abuse and acquiescing to mistreatment… willingly accepting abuse is inappropriate for Christians… the theological energy of the Bible is toward liberation. The exodus speaks of freedom from slavery and the New Testament speaks in numerous places about freedom from sin. God does not intend for his people to remain in bondage forever. Therefore, it is appropriate for those suffering unjustly to forgive their enemies from a distance if necessary. We do not have to stay.”[3]
  • “When a woman or a child who has been sexually abused is required to meet one-on-one with the perpetrator, it becomes morally inexcusable and psychologically violent to insist on legalistically following Matthew 18… the wounded are retraumatized… [Additionally] if the act is criminal, it must be reported to law enforcement and resolved through the legal system.”[4]

What if I still get angry about things that were done to me or others, and can’t seem to fully forgive?

  • “It is the duty of survivors to remember…Traumatized communities must be able to tell God the truth about how they feel. We must trust that God can handle those emotions. God can listen to our cries for vengeance, and as the one sovereign over history he gets to choose how to respond. Psalm 137 does not take power from God and give it to us. It is an affirmation of his power in the midst of deep pain and estrangement.”[5]
  • “There are times when I look at the present and the historic suffering of my people and I feel closer to Psalm 137 than Luke 23:34 (‘Father, forgive them’). That is fine because I am not yet fully formed into the likeness of Christ, and Psalm 137 is part of the canon for a reason. This side of the second coming there will continue to be Babylons. And as long as there is a Babylon, the oppressed will weep beside the willows.”[6]

[1] Scott McKnight and Laura Barringer, A Church Called Tov: Forming a Goodness Culture (Carol Streams, IL: Tyndale, 2020), 167.

[2] N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense (New York: HarperOne, 2006), 160.

[3] Esau McCaulley, Reading While Black (IVP, 2020), 132-133.

[4] Scott McKnight and Laura Barringer, A Church Called Tov: Forming a Goodness Culture (Carol Streams, IL: Tyndale, 2020), 49-52.

[5] Op. Cit., 125-126.

[6] Ibid., 133.