***Part 1 made the “awareness” case. Part 2 and this week give the other nine of ten essentials for reaching those who’ve been hurt or disillusioned by the Church. For a full version of this article see here.
7) Humility: As Jesus said, “Without me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5), and it’s at this point we should also enlist others to join us in prayer. Humility is seeing yourself as needing help and knowing that God has many tools in his toolbox. Prayer is the greatest demonstration of our dependence on his help, as well as our trust in his process: “So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth (1 Cor. 3:7, ESV).”
8) Loving Community: Although we might get someone to pray a prayer, conversion is—more often than not—first belonging then believing. J. R. Woodward, in his Creating a Missional Culture, considers “the congregation, specifically the discipling space, as the agent of evangelism.” He goes on to say, “People first belong, then behave, then believe… Fruitfulness – ‘Has a community of character been created? Do we have God changing people’s lives?’; — is a better measure [of a church’s success] than ‘butts, bucks, and buildings.”
9) Risk: We must remember that it’s the truth that sets people free (John 8:32). It’s also human nature to hide and blame. Add wounds associated with the Church to the mix, and some further isolate and quarantine themselves from any religious influence whatsoever. It is here—but only on a foundation of “knowing that we care”—that we often must take a risk. Indeed, as one professor I had once said, initiative is the essence of ministry. As the Apostle John gently admonished the Church in his day: “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18, NIV) In my own life, after a season of almost no talk and a whole lot of loving action, I gave my book to a family member who once was hurt significantly by the church and now hates organized religion. I asked him if he would be so kind as to give it a read and provide feedback.
10) Confidence in God: As I wait to see what happens and as you do the same with your own prayerful risks, we need to keep this at the front-and-center of our minds eye: no one is beyond the reach of the long arm of the Lord (Isa. 59:1). Further, only he knows the key to someone’s heart. Just like the apostle Paul’s church planting work with the wealthy businessowner, Lydia, it was the Lord who “opened her heart to pay attention to what was said…” (Acts 16:14, NIV) Truly, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make him drink. In the same way, you can give a person a book but you cannot make them think. BUT… God can! Indeed, “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.” (Micah 7:18, NIV)
Friends, when it comes to reaching those who’ve been hurt or disillusioned by the Church, there is always hope. And, in truth, it’s often a crisis that’s the catalyst for a change of heart. With his in mind, let us be heartened that even if the wounds go deep and there is trauma involved, counseling professionals tell us that healing still boils down to “tears, talking, and time.” The Church that has tragically at times been toxic can also be a healing community.
As you reflect on the ten essentials in this three-part series, may God bless your efforts and may your work facilitate many healing conversations. That is what I hope to do with my book. And, if you choose to read or share it, I pray that the powerful lessons in my story fortify your home, guard your family from unhealthy churches, and ensure your personal faith continues strong.
***Next week, I’ll give a personal, subscriber-only prayer and ministry update.