We noted last week and here that, although the later part of Psalm 127 focuses more on sons, the first part of the psalm includes all children, male and female alike: “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” In thinking about daughters specifically, I’ve found Job 42:10-17—another section in the wisdom literature of the Bible—particularly fascinating, especially verses 13-15:
“So the LORD blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning. For now he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 teams of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He also gave Job seven more sons and three more daughters. He named his first daughter Jemimah, the second Keziah, and the third Keren-happuch. In all the land no women were as lovely as the daughters of Job. And their father put them into his will along with their brothers.
Job lived 140 years after that, living to see four generations of his children and grandchildren. Then he died, an old man who had lived a long, full life.” (NLT)
This is the “post-disaster” period of Job’s life where he enjoys even greater blessing. Of special note and evidence of that greater blessing, is the specific mention of the beauty of his daughters. Further, each of their names represents some form of beauty or beautification:
- Jemimah of pancake syrup fame means “turtle dove.” The dove was a symbol of beauty and love.
- Keziah means “cassia,” an aromatic plant used in perfumes.
- Karen-happuch means “horn of eye shadow.”
By the way, Eugene Peterson gives the girls these names in the The Message: Dove, Cinnamon, and Darkeyes!
Again, the mention of Job’s daughters in this “greater blessing” season of Job’s life is significant. By giving them an inheritance along with their brothers, Job demonstrates that he continued a policy of justice and equity in his life that went beyond the practice of the ancient world. In Israel, for example, a daughter could only inherit the property of her father if there was no male heir (cf. Num. 27:1-8).
With few exceptions, girls couldn’t do many things that boys could for most of history. Dorothy Sayers notes that “Sir Thomas More was exceptional, though not unique, in providing a classical education for his daughters, and they, though exceptionally privileged, were not unique and using their education constructively.”[1]
Dads are so important in providing what girls need. Here are just a couple of examples related to early sexual activity and teen pregnancy, issues I regularly encounter in my role at Care Net:
- Researchers using a pool from both the U.S. and New Zealand found strong evidence that father absence has an effect on early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy. Teens without fathers were twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as an adolescent.[2]
- Being raised by a single mother raises the risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school education.[3]
And make no mistake, absent dads leave girls and children vulnerable:
“In one longitudinal study, the sociologist, Frank Furstenberg of the University of Pennsylvania periodically followed the children of teen mothers from birth in the 1960s to as old as twenty-one in 1987. His findings couldn’t have been more dramatic: kids with close relationships with a residential father or long-term stepfather simply did not follow the teenage mommy track. One of four of the 253 mostly black Baltimoreans in the study had a baby before age nineteen. But not one who had a good relationship with a live-in father had a baby. A close relationship with a father not living at home did not help; indeed, those children were more likely to have child before nineteen than those with little or no contact with their fathers.”[4]
People will do some strange things when they’re looking for love. The flip side of this is that an involved, responsible, and committed father empowers and fortifies a girl, becoming her first love and teaching how she should be treated. Again, here are a couple of stats:
- A daughter’s self-esteem is best predicted by her father’s physical affection. In fact, the Journal of the American Medical Association found that girls with doting fathers are more assertive.[5]
- Higher quality father-daughter relationships are a protective factor against engagement in risky sexual behaviors.[6]
In closing, I want to both illustrate some of the concepts above and honor my daughter, Emily, as she’s definitely part of the “greater blessing” of my life. Over the years, we’ve shared many dates like the one above. Further, as far back as I can remember, she’s had a special sensitivity to God. As a child and throughout her teens, her insights or even quietly playing a song like “Before the Throne of God Above” on the piano have called my wandering heart back many times.
Before the throne of God above I have a strong and perfect plea, A great High Priest whose name is Love, Who ever lives and pleads for me. My name is graven on his hands, My name is written on his heart; I know that while in heav'n he stands No tongue can bid me thence depart, No tongue can bid me thence depart. When Satan tempts me to despair And tells me of the guilt within, Upward I look and see him there Who made an end of all my sin. Because the sinless Savior died, My sinful soul is counted free; For God the Just is satisfied To look on him and pardon me, To look on him and pardon me…
While researching for this piece, I found this March 26, 2001 journal entry: “Emily recently blessed me by saying, “Daddy, I know why Jesus has to die.” I said, ‘Why honey?’ She said, “He got in trouble so we wouldn’t have to.” Tears came to my eyes as I realized that God is working in her heart even at this young age.”
On January 28, 2007—when she was 11, she gave me a little American Girl booklet titled “I Love You, Dad.” Opening the first page, and it said “4 Reasons I Love You”:
- being a great dad
- talking to me about God
- being a good example
- loving me
It then shared some special memories between us: taking walks, a lunch date at a fun place called Oliver’s Twist, eating donuts in bed from our favorite bakery, sleeping with our lab puppy, and snuggling on the couch while watching Wonder Woman and I Dream of Jeannie. It concluded with, “Here is one thing you taught me that I will never forget: How to be a great Christian and grow in the Lord.”
As adults, “great Christian” might seem a little silly or overstated to us—something worthy of an eye-roll. If you know Emily, however, you’d also see it as consistent with her—now adult—childlike dependence on God, and eagerness to pray or share an encouraging verse or song. And I can’t tell you how proud I was when she graduated from high school on June 13, 2014, as valedictorian and received two of the four annual awards based on Luke 2:52: an academic one for “growing in wisdom,” and a Christian character one for “growing in favor with God.”
Original words for “Before the Throne of God” by Charitie Lees Bancroft (1841-1892).
[1] Dorothy Sayers, Are Women Human?, (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1971), 16.
[2] Bruce J. Ellis et al., “Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage Pregnancy?” Child Development 74 (May/June 2003): 801–821.
[3] Jay D. Teachman, “The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages.” Journal of Family Issues 25 (January 2004): 86–111.
[4] Kay Hymowitz, Marriage and Caste in America (Chicago: Ivan R. Dee, 2006), 122.
[5] Meg Meeker, Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters (Washington, DC: Regnery, 2006), 23.
[6] Bruce J. Ellis et al., “Impact of Fathers on Risky Sexual Behavior in Daughters: A Genetically and Environmentally Controlled Sibling Study,” Developmental Psychopathology 24, no. 1(February 2012): 317–332.