Am I now seeking human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ. (Gal. 1:10, ESV)

Feed your life with my life’s work. How many likes is my life worth?  –Sick Boy by The Chainsmokers[1]

My phone lies close by as I write.  Although an iPhone is a serious upgrade from a gramophone, I feel like Nipper the dog above, head cocked and captivated by the voices coming out of the device.[2] Has anyone liked my post? Has anyone shared my post? What about my critics—have they poisoned others against me? Do those others no longer like me or care about me?

Is it influence I seek or the inebriation of human approval? If influence, why am I trying to influence? Is it for God or some disguised version of pride or the ambition of man?

When you write a blog, affirmation issues get complicated. You invest a lot of time preparing something true and compelling that you want people to read. Further, given our digital age with tons of distractions, it’s hard to get a hearing so there’s a constant marketing side to what you do: tweaking titles, images, content, and even the timing of posts. Research shows video, not well-crafted thoughts, now dominates Facebook engagement. The dilemma is like the weekly struggle of good pastors: how do I craft, title, visually illustrate, and deliver a faithful sermon that people will also listen to and be transformed by?

Feedback becomes essential. Everyone desires encouragement, but its constructive criticism that often makes us more skilled, faithful, and effective. Since I started this blog in June of last year, I’ve received a lot of both. But regardless of what others see or say, my ultimate desire should stay the same: as my pastor said recently, to live fully for “the loving approval of the only eyes that really matter.”

So, whose voice or voices am I captivated by? This is an indispensable question when some voices insult and accuse.

Earlier last year, when I left one ministry context to pursue another, one gentleman called me “un-fatherly” and a “lover of money.” Given my vocational history of encouraging fathers and recent struggle with unemployment, these words were designed to wound. Although the insults didn’t cut deeply at first, the “un-fatherly” label hurt more as time went on. This was because the voice of accusation and insult caused a few to be wary of my influence. Although they didn’t “unfriend” me, they now refrain from liking or sharing anything I say. Their church has a picket line and they’re not going to cross it.

And then there are the voices of encouragement. One older pastor read through recent pieces I’d written, resonated with them, and sent this reminder: “It probably puts us a bit out of the mainstream…, but Jesus was out the mainstream of Judaism.  Keep going, and all will be well.”

So, there you have it. Whether you’re met by insult, affirmation, or silence, the question is the same: Am I living for the loving approval of the only eyes that really matter? In truth, we all often crave the approval of lesser voices than the Master’s; we all have injured rather than encouraged, misspoken, or feared to speak. But God still loves us and Jesus died even for affirmation junkies.

And so, I confess my sin, with love and prayers for all my brothers and sisters—those who insult, affirm, are indifferent, or keep their distance. Maybe you also wish to join me, identifying with these words from the song Somewhere by the late Rich Mullins and the psalmist:

Somewhere
Between the lost and the found
We’re all hanging empty
Empty and upside down
But I’m hanging on
Though the fall may tempt me
And I believe in the dawn
Though I tremble in the night

Somewhere
Amidst these ins and these outs
There’s a fine line of purpose
I follow even now
Through the haze of despair
That confuses and hurts us
I look to see that You’re there
And I run toward Your light

O send out your light and your truth; let them lead me; let them bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling.” (Psa. 43:3- NRSV)

Here’s a few more verses that have helped:

• May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. (Psa. 19:14, NLT)
• Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! (Psa. 139:23, ESV)
• “But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the message of the gospel, even so we speak, not to please mortals, but to please God who tests our hearts.” (1 Thess. 2:4, NRSV)

[1] This was this pop duo’s first release in 2018, a darker single, that’s amassed over 95 million views on YouTube. The song asks some great questions about a narcissistic society that chooses “pride over character” and in which “everyone projects and expects you to listen to ‘em.” It’s a fascinating critique of this generation’s new religion: social media. For more commentary on this song, click here.

[2] The picture above is called His Master’s Voice and was the unofficial name of a major British record label, EMI. The phrase was coined in the 1890s as the title of a painting of a terrier mix dog named Nipper, listening to a wind-up disc gramophone which is sort of like an old-school record player (adapted from Wikipedia).